Eva Braun, my little honey-bun-bimbo

 

eva-braun-1

Come hither look by the prostitute Eva Braun, later Hitler’s mistress and finally, his wife. Fortunately, shortly after the happy couple wed, they killed themselves. Eva took poison because she said she wanted to leave a good looking corpse.

Hitler had old fashioned views on women.  His ideal woman was, “cute, cuddly, naïve little thing, tender, sweet and stupid.”  Eva fit this profile perfectly, if one can imagine cuddling with Hitler.

Der Fuhrer called Eva his “tarscheple.”  This is a Bavarian dialect word meaning “honey bun” with the connotation of “bimbo.”

SHE WAS A WHORE. Eva had done so modeling.  Rumors persist that she both posed for pornographic photographs—and was a whore. She was introduced to Hitler by Herr Hoffman, Hitler’s photographer, for whom she modeled. (And whose well known orgies Hoffman had throughout the war appalled Hitler although he didn’t do anything about it).

Although Hitler had not yet come to power when he met the charming prostitute, Eva, he was one of the most well known men in Germany.  In classic bimbo fashion, Eva did not know who he was. Well, no one ever accused her of having brains.

“…sometimes he doesn’t even take his boots off.  And sometimes we don’t get into the bed.  We stretch out onto the floor.  On the floor he is very erotic.” 

If you say so, Eva. Too bad you didn’t put an ice pick through the back of his neck. Several books say Hitler enjoyed having Eva piss on his face.

A REAL BIMBO “Eva’s clothes and her appearance were her consuming passion,” said Traudl Junge, one of Hitler’s secretaries.

BATHE IN OLIVE OIL :  In order to preserve her youth and beauty, Hitler advised her to bathe weekly in a tub of warm olive oil and sleep each night with a raw veal on her face. Bathing in warm olive oil sounds like it would be good for the skin. Sleeping with raw veal on one’s face sounds sort of disgusting.

eva braun

 The fetching Eva Braun. Obviously the beauty treatments did not work. And Eva, honey, for Pete’s sake, lay off those pastries! These were served each day during tea with Hitler when he was at home in Berchestgarten. Traudl Junge says the pastries came from a local bakery and were usually stale. That must not have stopped Eva from scarfing them down.

WOW, THIS IS A SURPRISE: “She was deeply neurotic and she did not strike me as particularly intelligent.”  So said medical doctor and war criminal, SS Standartenführer (or Colonel) Ernst-Guenther Schenck,  who observed her in her last days. Then again, as someone who did medical experiments on live concentration camp inmates, he was not the most sympathetic observer of humanity.

 

hitlera

A less than slender Eva sunning at Berchestgarten. Hopefully she’ll do a little exercise later.

BECAUSE IT’S WAR, EVA. “Why do so many people have to be killed?  It is all for nothing.”

Eva Braun to Albert Speer in the Fuhrer Bunker 24 April 1945. Well, Eva, it seems your husband to be had decided to conquer much of the world and murder millions of people he didn’t like. Those are a few reasons.

The final letter Eva Braun wrote in her lifetime was a letter to her sister, Gretl.  She gave it to Germany’s most famous test pilot, Hanna Reitsch, a dedicated Nazi who devoted herself to the Fuhrer. As depicted in the movie, Downfall, she flew a small plane into Berlin in the last few days and had landed on the street in front of the Reich’s Chancellery.

Unbelievably, after Hanna flew out of Berlin and got safely away, she  opened the letter, read it, then tore it up.

“So vulgar, so theatrical and in such poor adolescent taste”

Gee, Hanna, what did you expect?

 

 

 

Published by

Charles McCain

Charles McCain is a Washington DC based freelance journalist and novelist. He is the author of "An Honorable German," a World War Two naval epic. You can read more of his work on his website: http://charlesmccain.com/