Is This All There Is? Yes. But It’s Better Than Being In High School – Part 2

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Since my friend was not satisfied with the advice I gave to his question: “Is This All There Is,” I have spent valuable time giving him yet another brilliant answer to his question. You would have thought he would have thanked me and not complained. (This means you Bill T.). People are so ungrateful. You have no idea.

The rest of this post is written in that most rare of literary conventions: the epistolary form. That is, in the form of a letter. This writing convention is no longer used today since people no longer write letters and epistolary is hard to spell. People also think the word has something to do with firearms. My second explanation to my friend, Bill, about is this all there is and etc.

Dear Bill:

You are comparing your life today to a standard which is way too high. You need to reduce your expectations of life to how people lived during the Great Depression. Then you will realize how much better your life is and you will be happier, even if all the people you come into contact with have lots more money than you do and are incredibly happy. Besides, most incredibly happy people are on anti-depressants.

Scarlett O’Hara before Prozac.
Scarlett O’Hara after Prozac.

Now Bill, let’s also put the cards on the table and let the four or five people who read my blog know this important truth about your past: you grew up in Oklahoma. And you know the old saying, “never ask a man if he’s from Oklahoma. If he is, you’ll know it. If he isn’t you’ve just insulted him.”

However, even Okies or Sooners or whatever the hell you people who live in that Godforsaken state are called, which sadly is ravaged by constant tornadoes which kill thousands each month, know that everything is better in Oklahoma now than during the Great Depression. (Maybe its Kansas that has the tornadoes? Well, no matter.)

I know you live in a beautiful home in Georgia now but that is beside the point. You may not realize how bad the housing situation was in Oklahoma during the Depression but if you meditate on the following you will realize how much better off you are than your forbears.

An average home in Oklahoma in the 1930s.
An average home in Oklahoma today.

Bill, I’m sure you will agree that a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado is far more spacious and comfortable than the shack as pictured from the 1930s. As reputable statisticians, mathematicians, opticians, and other ticians will tell you, a family of four can live comfortably in a 67’ Eldorado, which has more square feet of living space than a studio apartment. Another usually forgotten side benefit is this: you can live in your car but you cannot drive your house.

Doesn’t this make you much happier and pleased with your life? I’m sure it does. Allow me to end by saying this: some months back, I stopped writing about military history all the time on my blog and started writing more about me and the hilarious things which have gone on in my life. These events are far more entertaining than war. I have also begun to write more about my friends, most of whom belong in an institution for the criminally insane.

Yet since I branched out from military history to writing more personal and incredibly funny blog posts, 50% of my followers have stopped reading my blog. Why is that?

[Images courtesy of Fan Pop, Life, and Car Gurus.]

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Charles McCain

Charles McCain is a Washington DC based freelance journalist and novelist. He is the author of "An Honorable German," a World War Two naval epic. You can read more of his work on his website: http://charlesmccain.com/

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